Integrating into Santa Cruz

Meg and I flew into San Jose on Sunday. The flight was easy and funnily I ran into Todd, someone I knew from when Jared and I were together. It was nice to see him and catch up a little. Serena picked us up and it was so nice to see her again. On the way home we decided to get something to eat at Saturn Cafe in Santa Cruz.

We had the worst service ever...of course, it's Saturn Cafe.

These last few days I've tried to integrate back into Santa Cruz. I'm finding myself resistant to the mundane. Now I'm trying to meet what comes to me, dance with it and find my joy in every situation.

Find my Joy and I'll be Free

My final day in Hawaii. The most magical of all. On the sailboat ride yesterday we met Suzanne, a French Canadian woman who leads groups or families and individuals on soul journeys. She said her main gift is showing people their purpose. It happened she is living at the Mermaid Temple at Kealekekua Bay and we met up with her this morning. She said my purpose is to find my joy. The deep saddness that everyone keeps telling me I hold has been held for many lives. Now is the lifetime that I am ready to release the saddness and when I truly find my joy, that is the key to my freedom. Dancing, movement, and painting is key for me to express this joy. Every morning I ask my "little girl" what is my joy today and follow it. There will be many people telling me I can't do what my little girl wants, internally and externally, but I am the "parent" that tells her she can do anything. I must learn to say no to others, which is actually a yes to me. Once I find my joy I will be a great teacher, people will come to me and ask how they can be like me, however, I won't "teach" them, I will just tell them to watch me and they will learn to find their own joy. Being alone now is good, because once this happens I will pray for time alone. Being alone is my sacred space, a space where I can create. There are 7 Paths to Freedom, for self, as a woman, as a complete being: which is what I will find on my journey and this is what I will be able to give back to the world.

What is the shape of my freedom?
What is the color of my freedom?
What is freedom for me?

I must be selfish.

I must get my ego out from under the carpet that I am hiding under.

My mantra...I allow me to do everything I want to do.

The saddness is not being recognized for the incredible person I am, I want to be recognized.

I will marry my joy...maybe on my birthday.

Jumped off the US

Yesterday I jumped off the southern most tip of the United States...I'm not only blowing off the mainland, I'm blowing off the whole US. Unfortunately, there were no pictures of me...but you get the idea.

Happy Heart Day everyone.



These last two days were instense...I'm learning a lot about my emotional power...this has been all about setting boundries and staying in my joy even when other people's energy is all over the place. It's about me staying centered and connected to myself. Jason has helped me with this since he's so intuitive and can accurately tune into me, sometimes before I'm tuning into myself. He's a great mirror for me, and I can now see how much more powerful I can be if I get very clear.

Dragon Point Retreat Center

We saw two houses in the Pahoa area yesterday. The first was beautiful and eco-friendly built but in a bad location. The second was in the most magical location I've ever been though the buildings would need a lot of work. Coming to this piece of land was like coming home, more than I've felt anywhere else. I could actually imagine my child running across the lawn playing after having swam in the protected lagoon. This place is called Dragon Point, the property is shaped like a finger bending around the shallow water to create a protected lagoon that is surrounded by about three other houses. There is soft grass stretching from one end of the property to the other and scattered around are coconut trees. And along the border of the property are three different types of banana trees. There are three structures on the property: the main house with two bedrooms and two baths set close to the lagoon, another structure that could be a carport with workshop, another small room and then a larger room with a bathroom and kitchen space (like a studio space), and a third less finished structure that is bi-level, the bathroom and kitchen need to be finished but hook-ups are in place. There is also a kayak rack on the side of this structure. The buildings are funky and old and would need quite a lot of work, however, the property itself is unbelievable.



Part of the showing was a dip in the lagoon. The lagoon is definitely a major part of the property. It was incredible to be able to sit in the protected waters and then swim to the edge where the more wild waters of the ocean lay just beyond. This is like having your own pool...you could literally swim in this place during any weather condition. They have built a sea wall with two easy in and out water access ways. Meg and I both felt how deeply healing and sacred this place is. The man who owned the house had died in the waters just outside his house after a diabetes attack, and we could feel it was the perfect time and place for him to go. We both felt like we had died and gone to heaven there. Now his best friend is living there and wrapping up the trust fund for his wife who is not an American citizen. He and the other woman living there were warm and welcoming and full of the aloha spirit. They were both in love with the property and deeply enjoyed the time they've spent there. In fact, he had wanted to buy the property but couldn't because his plans for renovation were over the amount he could have spent. As another strange coincidence, the man's plans for rebuilding the property were based on the Bali style that I loved so much at the retreat center in Ho'okena. Meg and I both looked at each other in amazement when he pulled out the pictures of his plans. He said anyone who wanted to use his plans were welcome. He also said that the land could be subdivided and another building could be put closer to the road. Or the other option would be to do less than 50% renovation and avoid needing to get permits.





As Meg and I roamed the neighborhood we could feel that everyone there was friendly and welcoming, smiling at us and saying hello. Also in the neighborhood are what are called the Champagne Ponds...lava heated ocean ponds scattered about the neighborhood. These are crystal clear beautiful protected large pools of water where we saw at least 5 large sea turtles, Sgt. Peppers, an eel, and other fishies. Sitting over certain spots you could feel the warmth of the lava emanating out. This is a gated community and they've made it a bit difficult for the public to get to the Champagne Ponds so they are more protected than other parts of the island.

One of the most magical parts of this day was the serendipidous moment that Jason and his friend showed up to the Champaigne ponds. It was a magical moment with him and the turtles and the warm water.


Meg and I are seriously excited about this place. We'd like to discuss any possibilities of creating a healing retreat here. Sarah, I know we've been discussing the possibility of a partnership...let's discuss more. I just want to stay open to all possibilities and see if things will fall into place. I am dedicated to ease and flow. What are the possibilities, who is interested, what would you like to know?

Today, Meg and I will see properties in Kona then on Wednesday we'll be looking in South Kona. We'll see how they compare, but obviously, this one left a big impression. We've had a lot of magical days here, and this one was the most magical of all. I wish you all were here with me! This is so much fun, even just imagining the retreat center could actually happen in such a magical place.

I took my own pictures and have attached them, and there are more on the house website. I didn't take a lot of pictures of the main house because the people were living there and it was a little awkward.

Looking forward to discussing the possibilities with you.
me

$1,995,000
Island of Hawaii, Puna
Kapoho Beach
Dragon's Point
Incomparable oceanfront parcel located on private Alapai Point peninsula with spectacular swimming lagoon, rock walls, sprawling lawns under coconut trees, second home, and separate screened lanai. Truly the jewel of Hawaii's east coast!

Also, this is in the "banana belt" warmer and much less rain than Hilo or even Pahoa

You can get to the rental listing by going to:
1) http://www.hawaiiinformation.com
2) then under "Hawaii Real Estate Search" (the first drop down box on the left side)
3) pick "Residential"
4) Then type in the number 188059 in the Search by MLS# box and press GO
or go to:
http://www.hawaiiinformation.com/REsearch/IDX/mlsHawaii/IndividualListing.asp?MLS=188059&SubmitMLS=Go&MLSEVAL=y&page=1
It's a long link so you may have to copy and paste the entire link if the computer breaks it up.


Mom, this place is about a 15 minute drive from the park that we went to with the flowing tide pools and the hot pool and the surfing beach. Pahoa is 10 minutes, Hilo is 20 to 30 minutes, Volcanos are 30 minutes, Lava Tree Park is 5 minutes...lots to see and do in this part of the island, crystal clear hot ponds walking distance.

Shift Happens

Yesterday was another intense day. In the morning we went to K Bay and found Maaike there with David our friend from the Kava bar two nights ago and Jason the guy who played didgeridoo from a few weeks ago. We were all hanging out, then Willy, a hardcore dolphin swimmer pulled his dig out too and they started playing into us again, this time it was me and Meg. Willy suggested that the receivers hold the end of the dig and place it where we thought it should go. It felt incredible again. Then I tried playing it and basically just spit into the thing for quite awhile. I think I'll be able to get it, plus Jason's is more difficult to play for some reason. The waves were a bit rough so all of us decided to go to Hookena and hang out on the beach.

At Hookena, there were no dolphins but we did snorkel a bit and I spotted an eel.

We laid on the beach for a long time and talked. Then we went to lunch at Senor Billy's the Mexican restaurant in Capt. Cook. Maaike suggested we eat without utensils earlier and I remembered just in time to leave my fork on the table. We had fun dishing up our beans and rice with our fingers and hands. Then we decided to head back to our place for some tarot card reading. As we settled into the house Jason sat down and I mentioned that I had gotten "surrender" from Meg's new deck, and how that was a theme for this trip. He then asked me a question, "What will happen if you surrender." From there we dove deep into the most intense tarot card reading I've ever had. For an hour and a half he talked and asked questions and revealed more and more. By the end, we had talked about some of my deepest issues and the keys to transforming me into a "master". It was incredible. I got it on a cellular level and later felt like I was going to puke.

We went to a potluck for our friend Myra's birthday and there I couldn't eat anything, and had a hard time interacting with the other party goers. I felt raw and open and vulnerable, but it was a good place for me to be. Jason would check in every once in awhile and tell me to eat or drink or something. Later I told our other friend Michael that I wanted to lead an appreciation circle for Myra. Toward the end of the evening we wrapped up with everyone introducing Myra as we knew her...of course it was powerful and moving. She laughed and cried and I was happy to give her that gift.

A man named Merlin announced there was another party up the road so we followed him there. The house was really unusual with oddly different levels and large rooms and small rooms and strange alcoves. Asolaria was the woman's name, she was wonderful and invited us over next week for a girls night in. My stomach started hurting a lot toward the end of the night and by the time we were heading out I was really out of it. That reading created a very big shift.

Trusting

Today we woke up early and went down to K Bay. The dolphins were out but the waves were intense against the lava rocks so Meg, Maaike, Marriette, and I went to Hookena. Some kids had made a huge sand castle and we marvelled at their creation as they explained who had made what. Apparently dad had helped with the mote. Maaike and I jumped in the water and played for a bit. Then we decided to swim across the bay to the other side. As we were swimming out the fears of sharks came up in me, along with the excitment of the possiblity of seeing a whale all of a sudden appear next to us. There were big waves coming in and I was concerned about going too far near that side. So we turned around and realized the current was taking us out. We would put our heads down and swim toward the beach then look up and we'd be pointing out into the ocean. We had to kick very hard to get back, but it was fine and we got a good work out. But it didn't feel like we were making a lot of way going back. Once out I felt like we really accomplished something and although there wasn't much to see along the way it was a wonderful metiphore for trusting all would be okay.

Meg had set up a nice little spot for herself and was continuing to practice putting her feet up.

I picked some mint for everyone from the hillside and passed it out. The dad of the children asked if I could take a picture of the family. They were really cute.

Later we saw the dolphins again and Maaike and I went out again. We never saw them and they were a bit farther out than we wanted to go. We decided to trust they would come, but we weren't willing to wait too long or go too far out again.

Then we were getting hungry and Meg suggested the Coffee Shack! Horray for the Coffee Shack. We had lunch for the first time and it was really good.

Then I took a nap and while sleeping Jason called. I went down to Kona to meet up with him and bum around a bit. He was asking me something at one point and then said...was there some point in your life when trust was a big issue. Well yah! I'm aware of it, thanks... It was a nice visit and then we went back to my place to pick up Meg for food related stuff. She had been researching real estate properties so we'll be going to look at stuff for her and me very soon.

In the Pod

I'm getting taaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn...

Last night Meg and I went to dinner with Elfriede at the Keei Cafe for her last night here. It was nice to share a meal with her again and hear her adventures of the last two days. She had met a man, ironically his name is Alfredo, and he has fallen in love with her and taken her on many wild adventures in the last two weeks. I'm happy she's had such a good time.

Then we went to the dance, my intention was to dance "openness", meaning speaking my truth or I should say dancing my truth. It was interesting to play with the idea. At one point a group of people were holding hands in a circle and dancing around wildly. I wanted to join in and noticed me thinking they wouldn't want me to join...so I just did it...I ran into the middle of them and they started spinning around me very fast and I spun the other way. It was a beautiful feeling to be accepted into their dance and worked with in the way I wanted. My buddy Jason was also there, and it was interesting to see what came up with him too. He seemed sad and needing space so I played with dancing with him and dancing on my own.

This morning Meg and I went down to visit the dolphins at K Bay. They were there and it was an amazing swim, yet again. They stayed with the humans the whole time and were very wild. Then I had probably the most amazing experience of my life with a wild animal. There was a pod swimming before me about 10 feet down, barely moving their fins yet I was needing to kick pretty hard to keep up with them. However, I felt a part of their group and it seemed they were staying slow just for me. At one point my mind just switched over to really feeling a part of the pod. At that moment they rose up to the surface and then all of a sudden I was completely surrounded on both sides by about 8 dolphins. They were 6 inches away from me and I couldn't help but reach out and feel the skin of the dorsal fin very gently. I was surprised that the one I touched really knew I touched her and spun off from the group. But the rest stayed and I couldn't help but try one more time and touch a tail that was right in front of me. He stayed and I was happy I had been accepted. The whole thing lasted about 30 to 45 seconds and then they dove again and were gone. I just bobbed in the water and cried at the incredible gift they had offered me.


Later the old time dolphin people said they had never seen the dolphins so playful or so interactive. It was truly a rare moment.

I came to shore with Elfriede and we sat with her and Alfredo for a long time, just talking about our adventures and saying how we weren't going to let Elfriede go. Finally it was time to move on and I gave her a tearful goodbye hug and kiss. She is a beautiful friend, and I will miss her.

This afternoon I needed to be by myself for a few hours, I was feeling cranky and didn't want to take it out on Meg, which I was kind of feeling coming on. So I decided my adventure would be to hitchhike somewhere. So some of you might think...WHAT?! It's common here, people get rides down the road a lot and it was something Elfriede was doing quite a bit. She said she was having fun and I was intrigued and thought it would be fun to meet some new random people. So off I went...I ended up walking all the way up Middle Keii Road to the Highway which was actually kind of nice. I got to take in the views and the beautiful flowers on the side of the road. I stopped in at the Mac Nut Factory to get some mac nut rejects but the lady said they hadn't had any rejects today. I told her they must be doing a good job down there and left. There was one truck in the parking lot but I didn't ask for a ride, however, as I was walking up to the corner the guy in the truck asked if I was going South. I said yes and hopped in. He was a big red white guy in a 4x4 truck. He said he was here from Hilo visiting his brother and taking it easy. He was some kind of plant specialist and he was taking pictures of the flowers down the road. He had thought I was from one of the houses where he parked and that I was going to yell at him at first. Haha. He stopped at the fruit stand which was perfect since I needed to get a bite to eat. Then he was nice enough to take me all the way to Ho'okena. That was nice. I thanked him at the bottom and he was off. I walked up the beach and then remembered Jason had told me about a lava tube way up in the hillside. So I hiked up there. It was a little rough going in my flip flops but I was determined. As I was climbing I got a great whiff of mint and realized there were big mint plants growing right beneath me. I picked some and put it in my pocket. The view from the top was amazing.

The mouth of the tube was large and inviting.

The floors were smooth with jagged ceiling. The initial tube traveled back about 50 feet and was large enough for me to stand erect most of the way. Then another tube met up with it and travelled almost perpendicular to it and opened out into the mountain just to the left of it. I would have had to crouch down to walk through it so I didn't explore that side. That tube went deep into the mountain and I couldn't even see the end since I didn't have a flashlight.

I laid in the tube for awhile listening to the waves crashing below me. It felt good to be there in my perch above the magical beach and ocean. I decided it would be a good spot for me to "muscle test" if I'm staying here on the island or not. Meg had shown me a new way of doing it where she stands, taps on her chest, then asks her body to show her "yes" and it leans one way, and asks "no" and notice where it leans. It's worked for be pretty good so I stood there at the mouth and asked my body if I am staying here in Hawaii. The answer was yes. I laid there for a bit more time imagining living in the lava tube.

Back down at the beach I decided to jump in the water again. Before getting in I gave a cute couple sitting on the beach a mint leaf. The surf was high and it was tricky to get in. I swam out into the bay but the visibility was really bad and I started freaking myself out about low visibility, people swimming alone and shark attacks...I hate it when I do that. So I just meandered in and played. The surf had gotten pretty high and it took me awhile to figure out when to go in. Plus I didn't bring my fins on my adventure so I was needing to pay attention. But I got in, no problem...very graceful if I do say so myself.

I bummed around the beach and then caught a ride with a young guy in his truck with a dog. He dropped me at the school on the highway and said that would be the best place to get another ride. I quickly got picked up by another guy and he took me to my intersection at Middle Keei. I took some pictures of the goats and pigs.


I was feeling like going out tonight so we called Maaike to see if she wanted to go to get dessert and go to the Kava bar tonight (we had planned for Friday night). She was up for it so we picked her up and our first stop was the Keei Cafe...Meg was worried we might not get in because we didn't have a reservation but we slipped right into the small bar area and chatted with the bartender and shared two mango crisps. Maaike gave us a lesson in authentic dessert eating by licking the plate. She said it was so good that she couldn't help it. She dared us to do it too, I followed but Meg wouldn't get into it. The waiter came over and said, "In some restaurants that might not be good etiquette but using fingers and tongue in this restaurant is totally allowed." We cheered and continued enjoying our mango sauce direct from the plate.

Then we were off to the Kava bar. It was, of course, pretty mellow there, and we talked for a bit. The exciting stuff was happening out on Alii Drive (the main drag) where the waves were kicking up over the road wall. So we brought our kava out to the walkway and sat and watched the show. People were cheering when a wave would come over and extra cheering if it got a car and then would go wild if it got an unsuspecting pedestrian.
Here's Maaike on the wall with a big wave behind her...she never got wet though.

We started talking to David a computer programmer from Maryland. He was still all wound up, mainland style. He was fun to talk to though. Then we saw Laura, the girlfriend of the guy's house we're staying in. Itw as nice to talk to her for awhile. Then a crazy guy from Nashville came over and started literally preaching to us about HYDRATION. He said he had lost about 200lbs from this system. He said, "You must have a minimum of 50% of your body weight in ounces of water per day. You also need fish oil, coral calcium...etc" http://www.watercure.com/ It was interesting and he was passionate about his subject but he was talking at us for quite awhile and we were all just sitting there in a stupor. Finally, I used my non-violent communication super powers and empathized with myself and connected with him and his enthusiasm and told him we wanted also wanted to connect with each other. He got the message after several tries of getting back into his rant. Later David complimented me on my diplomacy...it felt good to be acknowledged for all the hard work I did over the past year in being compassionate and also speaking my truth.

Rebirth

Today Meg and I woke up early and went down to Kealekekua Bay. The dolphins were there and we jumped in. It was an amazing morning and I felt more at home with them than I've felt on this trip. I dove down to play with them and swam along side their beautiful bodies. Some were playing the leaf game where they swim with a leaf on one of their flippers. Others were dragging each other with hooked flippers. I saw two swimming belly to belly and another pooped right in front of me. Thanks! I was also very close to a few that were diving down and then jumping up. It was wonderful to be so close to a very playful one. At the very end all of them, about 60, got very excited and started swimming very fast, they huddled together and just headed out, surfacing and swimming. It was like they said, last one to the point is a rotten egg! Then they were gone, not a dolphin left in the bay. The humans were left laughing in wonderment at what the dolphins might know that we did not.

Maaike, pronounced Mikah, came with us to Ho'okena. She had never been and we wanted to show her the magical place. I found a perfect little sand love seat to sit in and watch the ocean. Then we walked back over the lava to see the birthing circles. Maaike said she wanted to be a mid-wife. As we sat there soaking in the power of the place I decided I wanted to lay in the waters where the babies were born. The moss was soft and the water warm. I could feel the movement of the tide as the wave filled my little birthing pool with fresh water. Feeling just a few minutes old I emerged a new being into this physical world.

Maaike joined us for lunch and was able to check her e-mail from here. We had a nice visit then I took her home. I visited K Bay for just a bit and now have been catching up on this blog for what seems like hours now. I hope I don't fall behind again because it's so hard to catch up. Whew!

Tonight dinner with Elfriede then the TrancenDance again. Horray!

So much fun I'm red

Yesterday was probably the best day here yet. I may have a hard time explaining the feeling of joy that each moment brought me. But I'll try.

Meg and I got up a bit late and gradually worked up to going down to Ho'okena, which is fastly becoming my favorite spot of all time. As we sat on the beach feeling lazy and getting ready to take a dip the man we met the day before, Michael, from the singing circle (did I even mention the singing circle?) came walking up the beach with Erin another musician who I had met at another singing circle and who was at the New Thought Center. We waved and they came over to talk to us. It was wonderful reconnecting with them. Erin went for a dip and then Mike asked if we wanted to see his place. I immediately said yes because he had mentioned he lives in Bali bungalows down by the water which had intrigued me from the start. Meg came along and I was so happy to have been invited. On our way to the retreat center Michael noticed how low the tide was and said that it was rare to be able to see the rocks out at the edge of the water. He told us he'd show us the "birthing circles". As we got to some large enclosed lava pools on the edge of the surf Mike pointed down at some perfectly made circles cut into the lava. He said this was a place where Hawaiian women come to birth and the circles were where they put the umbilical cord. There were dozens that we could see, and it seemed an incredible place to give birth and to come into this world. I could see myself coming back to this magical place for my time.

Walking into the retreat center was incredible. This place has the feeling that I want to create in my retreat center. This place is magical, with intent and care placed in every piece of wood and flower blooming. Apparently the owners bought the piece of property in the early 90's after being nervous about the purchase they went out to the edge of the water to contemplate what to do when two whales breached simultaneously and crossed each other. The Hawaiian man selling them the property said this was a sign that they were to have this land. The man constructs and buys the open air buildings in Bali and then brings them over an reconstructs them. There were about five living spaces and a main kitchen and meeting room. The living spaces were made out of Bali temple carvings and stood on stilts. The yoga studio and main living space looking out onto the water and had two 100 year gongs and two 200 year xylophones waiting for someone to sound them. Michael is the caretaker and lives in an equally cute one bedroom hut off to the side with an ocean view. The place was very inspiring and made me see an even higher visual of what I want and how I want to create my space. Here is their website: http://www.yogaadventure.com/ and the different things they offer.

Then we went back to the beach for a dip. As I sat on the beach I cried at the possibilities of life, of inspiration, that I'm becoming more and more aligned with what I'm wanting. I swam for the first time without my wetsuit and it felt great. I was really able to connect with the ocean. It felt free and fun and glorious to swim and play. I stuck close to the reef since there were no dolphins. Then swam toward the other side of the beach to see if I could find a turtle. As I played along and gliding along the bottom I did see a large flat fish with bright blue spots and his two eyes sticking up on top of his head. He was fun to play with for a bit. As I got closer to the other side, sure enough a beautiful turtle was making his way out into the ocean from the shallows. He was about 10 feet under water and I could easily get to his level and glide with him, slowly and comfortably, like we had no where to be but just moving on. Then I just kept swimming out into the bay, alone and free, I thought I could stay there forever. I swam in backwards somersaults over and over. The water felt so good on my skin and the warm sun was perfect so my body temperature didn't drop too low.

Later I joined Meg on the beach and soaked in the rays. She left for the shade and Michael came back around to talk to me. We talked about the retreat center and how inspiring it was for me and how I really want to live in a place with such a high vibration. He then sang me the Hawaiian Dolphin Chant and I joined in at times. Meg joined us again and said she wanted to manifest an umbrella and Michael jumped up and said I have one, I'll go get it. We were amazed at how fast that happened and laughed at life and ourselves. As Michael was leaving I realized I was getting too hot and too hungry to stay out there for too much longer. Meg felt the same way so she caught up to Michael to tell him we were going to go and eat something. And as she ran back to me she said, "I manifested us lunch too!" Michael invited us over to his hut for smoothies, lunch and music making. It was wonderful and he sang us a few songs he had written ("We the people of Hawaii, will remember to take care, appreciate and love the land for we are blessed.") and then he let Meg loose to improvise. She ended up singing a beautiful song of the ocean...smiling dolphins and whales seeing the sea seeing me.

Then it was time for more swimming. We headed back to the water. I went to the bathroom, Meg went to the car, Michael went to the sea. While I was in the bathroom a man yelled out "Jason" and I momentarily got excited that my friend from the other day was just outside. Alas as I walked out he was not there. I headed down to the beach to meet Meg and as I threw my stuff down I see his smiling face just a few feet over rolling in the sand looking at me. We were both so happy to have attracted the other again. He told me the night before he had gone to South Point and they had offered him cuttlefish to eat. I told him about the bathroom just before. It was so nice to see him again. Then I went and swam with Meg for a bit, I tried to teach her how to dive down. We got cold rather quickly and went in.


Meg in her post-magic day bliss


Rare Ho'okena Jason Bird

Sunset at Ho'okena

Jason joined us for the evening. He and I made a fabulous beat soup with lots of veggies and noodles. We also got a rollina...a $10 fruit at the store. Here's a picture.


Even at the beach I could tell that I was getting super red and knew I'd be hurting that night. We found aloe at the store and I continued to slather myself with it all evening. I had a hard time sleeping since I was so burnt and my mind was racing from the full day but finally at around 2am I think I fell back to sleep and didn't wake until morning.

We decided we wanted to get out of this area for a little adventure and Jason recommended we go to 69 Beach which is next to Hapuna which is more tourist travelled. On our drive up we stopped at Sacred Fire, a new agey store and played with their tarot decks and chrystals. The place kind of sucked all our energy and we could really feel it afterward. We ended up stopping at a health food store and having lunch to get our energy back up. Then finally we were off again. The beach was beautiful with trees next to the water and a few large dead branches to play on. We played in the water but couldn't see a lot since it was quite murky. I made a sand castle. Leaving there we travelled on the "high road" back to Kona. It took a long time. We dropped Jason off at home and I went home to rest while Meg set off to go to Trish and Doug's meditation.

Living in the Moment

Well I didn't get to the blog yesterday...I'm sure you're all eagerly awaiting my post. Yesterday morning was another wonderful day in the Bay. Meg and I went down at around 7:30am since Jason from the night before and Mikah were heading down there early for possibly dolphin swimming. When we got there, no one was on deck but there were many cars which meant the possiblity of dolphins was high. We walked out and saw that Jason and Mikah were just heading in. Looking out, there were dolphins and even more exciting for me were the two whales very close in. I said I'm going in! John let me borrow his flippers since I'm still monofinned. We jumped in and got out to the dolphins. It was a beautiful swim with jumping and swimming. There was nothing in particular to report...I never saw the whales, though people reported later that they had swum right under them earlier than I had been there. They said it was incredible with the dolphins swimming around them and the small whales gliding by. I want, more than anything to swim with the whales.

I was in a bit of a funk about some things and wanting some down time to process it all, when my mom called. It was nice to talk to her and she uplifted my mood. "There's nothing more important than I feel good" afterall. We were also discussing collaborating on some possiblities for us and Hawaii. It was fun to think about and will be fun to research a more permanent possiblity for me. I do love it here and am thriving. It was just great to hear my mom and Jon see and affirm how wonderful this place is for me.

Another John had offered me a more permanent loan on fins through Meg. So we decided to head down the road to see our neighbors and get me some fins for better dolphin communing, haha. These people just moved here a year ago from...guess where...Santa Cruz! They are very nice. They found a great 2 bedroom place just down the street from us. They've been fixing it up and it's a great little treasure. He loves houses and land and was excited to hear about all of our possiblities. He was giving us some tips...like, get "Fee Simple" which means you own the land, and that having a little elevation off the water (1000 ft) is quite a bit cooler in the summer. It was nice to talk to someone else who was really entheusiastic about the possiblities here.

Later Meg and I bummed around the house and had a hard time getting motivated to go anywhere. Finally, it was about time for a pot luck we had been invited to so we decided to go to ChoiceMart and pick something up before going down to The Place of Refuge for our next shindig. Driving into ChoiceMart there was Jason the beautiful tall man from the Dance on Wednesday. He was carrying shopping bags and heading to the street for a ride back to his place. We waved but didn't stop and Meg encouraged me to back up and offer a ride. He was happy to take the offer and jumped in saying now he could get some cat food for the homeless cats in Ho'okena. Awe, so sweet. He again had me with his warm embrace and playful presence. We ran in and got some food to take down and asked if he wanted to join us at the potluck. He said of course, so we took him home then headed down. It was fun to see everyone there, but I was distracted by getting to know Jason. As we sat on the lava's edge the dolphins swam by very close and we talked. I was right, he is young but definitely much wiser than his age. He is intuitive and sensitive and playful. When I asked him what his story was he said he was reborn in Hawaii (he is not Hawaiian, apparently that was just my fantasy the other night) a year and a half ago...he is really only 1 and a half years old. I liked that and am now feeling about 19 days old. It was wonderful to have a great example of such a sensative, communicative, open man. He is helping me to refine what I truly want in a partner. The timing was auspicious since this is the exact weekend of the final decision to breakup with Jared and today is our anniversary for getting together too... Looking back one year I'm very pleased at what I've created so far and am loving this moment that I've created. His departing wisdom was, "Stay in the moment, it's a good one."

This morning we had breakfast and Meg suggested we go to the New Thought Center in town. The New Thought movement is the same teaching principals as Inner Light, my church in Santa Cruz. As I suspected, nothing will be able to beat Inner Light. What Reverend Debrah has created there is truly amazing.

Oh, during our down time yesterday we found a theme song for our trip...
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
(this is just the beginning, there are more lyrics)

More to come later as my day unfolds...

White Dolphin

This morning I awoke at 5:55am again. That's about the 3rd time I've awoken to see the clock shining 555 at me. It makes me happy...and now I'm noticing other times that make me happy. Like 6:09 or 1:11 or 3:33. They have all been catching my attention as of late. When I looked out on the lanai I could see a bright shining light out in the sky which intrigued me so I got up and found the full moon shining just beyond some cloud cover. I waited for the spectacular unveiling and watched in awe as the moon set before me.

I debated for a bit to wake Meg up and then finally knocked on her door so she could see the magic. It was a good thing since she had been having a bad dream about being lost and in a car with no breaks. She was glad to see the beautiful sight and I asked if she wanted to come down to the bay with me. She said yes and we were off. We stopped first at Kaelekekua Bay, though none of our familiar dolphin friends were mingling about. So we decided to try Two Step. We were alone at Two Step and decided to sit and soak Meg's stubbed toe in the tide pools which were extra high.

As we were sitting there the sun popped over the mountain and lit up the water.

Then we moved on to Ho'okena. Arriving there I saw Susan the psychic and was able to pay her a bit more money for her reading. She was focused on going out to swim and when Meg and I walked out there we soon found out why. The dolphins were there and they were playful. I couldn't resist, even with only one flipper. Meg shot a sequence of me getting into the water...



There were over a hundred dolphins in the water. I saw mating and babies and beautiful leaping. It's incredible to see a pod go by and then look again and see another group come and go and then another and another. I started heading in and a group surrounded me. Inside the pod of about 15-20 there was a beautiful white dolphin. She broke off from the pod and swam to me, then fully circled me...I circled with her...she topped and looked at me again before joining back with her pod and swimming off. Another amazing moment in the Kingdom of Awesome.

This afternoon I was feeling antsy and went back to Ho'okena by myself to eat my lunch. I found a little coral wall that someone had built and sat behind it like it was my altar...I sat looking out into the ocean and took it all in. I then closed my eyes to tune into myself and at the exact moment I opened my eyes again a group of dolphins came up for a breath in front of me. Then I never saw them again.

Tonight Meg, Elfriede, Mikah, and I went to open mic night at Borders Books. At first I was wanting to get out of there, but then some really great people played. It was really nice. Afterward, our island friend John Smith, the photographer from the Bay, and Alfredo, the man in love with Elfriede, came out with us on the town in Kona. Alfredo suggested we go to Huggo's so we went there first. None of us liked it so we went across the street to Dirty Jakes where all the bikers were hanging out. I had a Pina Colada. Meg and Elfriede went home and John, Mikah, and I went to LuLu's upstairs. That was really not happening either. So John suggested we go to the Kava bar just to check it out. We met some Kavaholics who gave us a sip and then we couldn't resist getting a cup. Kava is weird...it's a plant that makes you really mellow and numbs your mouth. I wasn't that into it, but I gave into peer pressure. Mikah met a man from South Africa (originally) who is working as a chemist to create gasoline out of papaya...I think. He was very interesting, and very interested in Mikah, he invited us to ride horses with him. Once he left we met another guy, Jason, who was coming from SF and travelling around with no permanent home. We were also excited to see one of the guys who played earlier from the open mic. He was definitely one of the best players so we were able to give him more props. He invited us over to play with him and his friend. We sat for a very long time and listened to the music, pet the dog and talked. Then Jason said he'd go get his didgeridoo. The other two left by the time Jason came back. But we got a major treat because he did a sound healing on us each...he would put it by different parts of our body and allow the vibration to penetrate. It felt so good.

Aloha Uhane

I'm waking up earlier and earlier...4:30am today. Serena called me at 7:30am, she confuses me when she calls now because she has a new phone number. It's been nice to keep in touch with so many people back home. I love you all! This morning Meg and I went to breakfast at the Coffee Shack. You might recognize the breakfast we had from the first day. Now it was doubled...Vegan Meg couldn't resist the delicious coconut topped yogurt with mixed fruit in a papaya.

Then we went to ChoiceMart to pick up some groceries. While there I saw this...

I am appalled by Spam sushi.

I spent most of the day with Meg in the house. It rained again and her toe is still needing time to recuperate. I organized my collaging materials, played on the computer, and talked to Meg. We tried to actually go out but it started pouring so we just sunk back into home life.

Later Elfriede called to ask if she could use my computer to check her e-mail. I said sure and went to pick her up. We visited, she updated her blog and we talked. Then after realizing what time it was I asked her if she wanted to go to a full moon toning meditation that Meg had heard about. Unfortunately, Meg couldn't go because she was to be on a conference call with her real estate group during that time. It was odd for her to be giving up a toning for a real estate call, but she seemed to be handling it okay. So Elfriede and I jumped up and drove down to the Place of Refuge to meet the toning circle. It was a wild evening of warm windy clouds and squalls travelling through the area so the woman told us if it started raining hard we'd wrap things up quickly and go on. We sat on the sandy edge of the lava under swaying palms and beside crashing waves. The full moon could not be seen and when the time was right the leader of our group began to invoke the spirits and create sacred space for our circle to be held. I had a nice time playing with my sound and hearing others sounds wrap around mine, it's much like being held by another. I could feel my sounding wrap with the whales and then later with the static electricity of the sky. Beautiful. Later we shared and she told us that we could wrap ourselves in our own arms and say, "Aloha Uhane", "Hello Spirit" to ourselves and all that we meet. It was nice to get warm hugs from yet another wonderful group of people. And then it started to pour again, and it was done.

In invited Elfriede for dinner and to finish her blog so we headed back to our house. Some of you will be surprised to hear that I'm really enjoying doing a lot of the cooking for Meg and I. I haven't been intimidated by having great cooks around...Meg and I have very similar eat styles...and with Meg's new found occupation of "putting her feet up", I've been delighted to do some creation in the kitchen. Last night I made Thai noodles with veggies in a coconut, lime sauce...YUM! I've found it easy to get inspired by all the fresh tastes around here. Everyone loved it. Then we had dutch cookies, which made Elfriede feel right at home. During dinner Elfreide asked about our workshop we'd been planning. I told her we are experimenting with not making anything actually happen and just allowing it to flow. I said we'd still love to do it though some things haven't gotten quite together. As Meg and I started to talk about it we reworked it all at the dinner table and got re inspired about the whole thing. In fact the whole workshop will be fashioned based on the art of allowing and we're not structuring much around it. We will tell the participant that we are doing an experiment...on the cutting edge of our desire of not working hard! Brilliant.

I am learning that all problems resolve themselves. -Well Being Card

TrancenDance Part II

I went to Hookena Beach to look for my fin and watch the sunset. No fin, I meditated on the lava rock watching the clouds change color, a big release with tears. It felt good, it felt like gratitude and saddness at the same time.

Dancing tonight at TrancenDance again. There were a lot of people, we arrived in time for the opening circle. My intention was integration. It felt good to move and sweat and play with others. At the final closing circle a beautiful man rested his head on my knee and we held hands during the closing. I was lucky to get the final words in the closing ceremony inspired by a wise woman, "When we create this peace, love and warmth, we not only create it for us, we create it for all." Afterward I introduced myself to the young, tall, dark skinned, muscular Hawaiian man. We hugged for a long time and just held each other sinking in deeper, feeling the energy, then looking into each others eyes, deeply seeing into the other. It was nice to be held by him after the events of the day. Sometimes when he spoke he was wiser than his age, and other times it was clear how young he really was. We gave him a ride part of the way home and then he walked off down the highway into the night "to contemplate the events of the night".