Integrating into Santa Cruz

Meg and I flew into San Jose on Sunday. The flight was easy and funnily I ran into Todd, someone I knew from when Jared and I were together. It was nice to see him and catch up a little. Serena picked us up and it was so nice to see her again. On the way home we decided to get something to eat at Saturn Cafe in Santa Cruz.

We had the worst service ever...of course, it's Saturn Cafe.

These last few days I've tried to integrate back into Santa Cruz. I'm finding myself resistant to the mundane. Now I'm trying to meet what comes to me, dance with it and find my joy in every situation.

Find my Joy and I'll be Free

My final day in Hawaii. The most magical of all. On the sailboat ride yesterday we met Suzanne, a French Canadian woman who leads groups or families and individuals on soul journeys. She said her main gift is showing people their purpose. It happened she is living at the Mermaid Temple at Kealekekua Bay and we met up with her this morning. She said my purpose is to find my joy. The deep saddness that everyone keeps telling me I hold has been held for many lives. Now is the lifetime that I am ready to release the saddness and when I truly find my joy, that is the key to my freedom. Dancing, movement, and painting is key for me to express this joy. Every morning I ask my "little girl" what is my joy today and follow it. There will be many people telling me I can't do what my little girl wants, internally and externally, but I am the "parent" that tells her she can do anything. I must learn to say no to others, which is actually a yes to me. Once I find my joy I will be a great teacher, people will come to me and ask how they can be like me, however, I won't "teach" them, I will just tell them to watch me and they will learn to find their own joy. Being alone now is good, because once this happens I will pray for time alone. Being alone is my sacred space, a space where I can create. There are 7 Paths to Freedom, for self, as a woman, as a complete being: which is what I will find on my journey and this is what I will be able to give back to the world.

What is the shape of my freedom?
What is the color of my freedom?
What is freedom for me?

I must be selfish.

I must get my ego out from under the carpet that I am hiding under.

My mantra...I allow me to do everything I want to do.

The saddness is not being recognized for the incredible person I am, I want to be recognized.

I will marry my joy...maybe on my birthday.

Jumped off the US

Yesterday I jumped off the southern most tip of the United States...I'm not only blowing off the mainland, I'm blowing off the whole US. Unfortunately, there were no pictures of me...but you get the idea.

Happy Heart Day everyone.



These last two days were instense...I'm learning a lot about my emotional power...this has been all about setting boundries and staying in my joy even when other people's energy is all over the place. It's about me staying centered and connected to myself. Jason has helped me with this since he's so intuitive and can accurately tune into me, sometimes before I'm tuning into myself. He's a great mirror for me, and I can now see how much more powerful I can be if I get very clear.

Dragon Point Retreat Center

We saw two houses in the Pahoa area yesterday. The first was beautiful and eco-friendly built but in a bad location. The second was in the most magical location I've ever been though the buildings would need a lot of work. Coming to this piece of land was like coming home, more than I've felt anywhere else. I could actually imagine my child running across the lawn playing after having swam in the protected lagoon. This place is called Dragon Point, the property is shaped like a finger bending around the shallow water to create a protected lagoon that is surrounded by about three other houses. There is soft grass stretching from one end of the property to the other and scattered around are coconut trees. And along the border of the property are three different types of banana trees. There are three structures on the property: the main house with two bedrooms and two baths set close to the lagoon, another structure that could be a carport with workshop, another small room and then a larger room with a bathroom and kitchen space (like a studio space), and a third less finished structure that is bi-level, the bathroom and kitchen need to be finished but hook-ups are in place. There is also a kayak rack on the side of this structure. The buildings are funky and old and would need quite a lot of work, however, the property itself is unbelievable.



Part of the showing was a dip in the lagoon. The lagoon is definitely a major part of the property. It was incredible to be able to sit in the protected waters and then swim to the edge where the more wild waters of the ocean lay just beyond. This is like having your own pool...you could literally swim in this place during any weather condition. They have built a sea wall with two easy in and out water access ways. Meg and I both felt how deeply healing and sacred this place is. The man who owned the house had died in the waters just outside his house after a diabetes attack, and we could feel it was the perfect time and place for him to go. We both felt like we had died and gone to heaven there. Now his best friend is living there and wrapping up the trust fund for his wife who is not an American citizen. He and the other woman living there were warm and welcoming and full of the aloha spirit. They were both in love with the property and deeply enjoyed the time they've spent there. In fact, he had wanted to buy the property but couldn't because his plans for renovation were over the amount he could have spent. As another strange coincidence, the man's plans for rebuilding the property were based on the Bali style that I loved so much at the retreat center in Ho'okena. Meg and I both looked at each other in amazement when he pulled out the pictures of his plans. He said anyone who wanted to use his plans were welcome. He also said that the land could be subdivided and another building could be put closer to the road. Or the other option would be to do less than 50% renovation and avoid needing to get permits.





As Meg and I roamed the neighborhood we could feel that everyone there was friendly and welcoming, smiling at us and saying hello. Also in the neighborhood are what are called the Champagne Ponds...lava heated ocean ponds scattered about the neighborhood. These are crystal clear beautiful protected large pools of water where we saw at least 5 large sea turtles, Sgt. Peppers, an eel, and other fishies. Sitting over certain spots you could feel the warmth of the lava emanating out. This is a gated community and they've made it a bit difficult for the public to get to the Champagne Ponds so they are more protected than other parts of the island.

One of the most magical parts of this day was the serendipidous moment that Jason and his friend showed up to the Champaigne ponds. It was a magical moment with him and the turtles and the warm water.


Meg and I are seriously excited about this place. We'd like to discuss any possibilities of creating a healing retreat here. Sarah, I know we've been discussing the possibility of a partnership...let's discuss more. I just want to stay open to all possibilities and see if things will fall into place. I am dedicated to ease and flow. What are the possibilities, who is interested, what would you like to know?

Today, Meg and I will see properties in Kona then on Wednesday we'll be looking in South Kona. We'll see how they compare, but obviously, this one left a big impression. We've had a lot of magical days here, and this one was the most magical of all. I wish you all were here with me! This is so much fun, even just imagining the retreat center could actually happen in such a magical place.

I took my own pictures and have attached them, and there are more on the house website. I didn't take a lot of pictures of the main house because the people were living there and it was a little awkward.

Looking forward to discussing the possibilities with you.
me

$1,995,000
Island of Hawaii, Puna
Kapoho Beach
Dragon's Point
Incomparable oceanfront parcel located on private Alapai Point peninsula with spectacular swimming lagoon, rock walls, sprawling lawns under coconut trees, second home, and separate screened lanai. Truly the jewel of Hawaii's east coast!

Also, this is in the "banana belt" warmer and much less rain than Hilo or even Pahoa

You can get to the rental listing by going to:
1) http://www.hawaiiinformation.com
2) then under "Hawaii Real Estate Search" (the first drop down box on the left side)
3) pick "Residential"
4) Then type in the number 188059 in the Search by MLS# box and press GO
or go to:
http://www.hawaiiinformation.com/REsearch/IDX/mlsHawaii/IndividualListing.asp?MLS=188059&SubmitMLS=Go&MLSEVAL=y&page=1
It's a long link so you may have to copy and paste the entire link if the computer breaks it up.


Mom, this place is about a 15 minute drive from the park that we went to with the flowing tide pools and the hot pool and the surfing beach. Pahoa is 10 minutes, Hilo is 20 to 30 minutes, Volcanos are 30 minutes, Lava Tree Park is 5 minutes...lots to see and do in this part of the island, crystal clear hot ponds walking distance.

Shift Happens

Yesterday was another intense day. In the morning we went to K Bay and found Maaike there with David our friend from the Kava bar two nights ago and Jason the guy who played didgeridoo from a few weeks ago. We were all hanging out, then Willy, a hardcore dolphin swimmer pulled his dig out too and they started playing into us again, this time it was me and Meg. Willy suggested that the receivers hold the end of the dig and place it where we thought it should go. It felt incredible again. Then I tried playing it and basically just spit into the thing for quite awhile. I think I'll be able to get it, plus Jason's is more difficult to play for some reason. The waves were a bit rough so all of us decided to go to Hookena and hang out on the beach.

At Hookena, there were no dolphins but we did snorkel a bit and I spotted an eel.

We laid on the beach for a long time and talked. Then we went to lunch at Senor Billy's the Mexican restaurant in Capt. Cook. Maaike suggested we eat without utensils earlier and I remembered just in time to leave my fork on the table. We had fun dishing up our beans and rice with our fingers and hands. Then we decided to head back to our place for some tarot card reading. As we settled into the house Jason sat down and I mentioned that I had gotten "surrender" from Meg's new deck, and how that was a theme for this trip. He then asked me a question, "What will happen if you surrender." From there we dove deep into the most intense tarot card reading I've ever had. For an hour and a half he talked and asked questions and revealed more and more. By the end, we had talked about some of my deepest issues and the keys to transforming me into a "master". It was incredible. I got it on a cellular level and later felt like I was going to puke.

We went to a potluck for our friend Myra's birthday and there I couldn't eat anything, and had a hard time interacting with the other party goers. I felt raw and open and vulnerable, but it was a good place for me to be. Jason would check in every once in awhile and tell me to eat or drink or something. Later I told our other friend Michael that I wanted to lead an appreciation circle for Myra. Toward the end of the evening we wrapped up with everyone introducing Myra as we knew her...of course it was powerful and moving. She laughed and cried and I was happy to give her that gift.

A man named Merlin announced there was another party up the road so we followed him there. The house was really unusual with oddly different levels and large rooms and small rooms and strange alcoves. Asolaria was the woman's name, she was wonderful and invited us over next week for a girls night in. My stomach started hurting a lot toward the end of the night and by the time we were heading out I was really out of it. That reading created a very big shift.

Trusting

Today we woke up early and went down to K Bay. The dolphins were out but the waves were intense against the lava rocks so Meg, Maaike, Marriette, and I went to Hookena. Some kids had made a huge sand castle and we marvelled at their creation as they explained who had made what. Apparently dad had helped with the mote. Maaike and I jumped in the water and played for a bit. Then we decided to swim across the bay to the other side. As we were swimming out the fears of sharks came up in me, along with the excitment of the possiblity of seeing a whale all of a sudden appear next to us. There were big waves coming in and I was concerned about going too far near that side. So we turned around and realized the current was taking us out. We would put our heads down and swim toward the beach then look up and we'd be pointing out into the ocean. We had to kick very hard to get back, but it was fine and we got a good work out. But it didn't feel like we were making a lot of way going back. Once out I felt like we really accomplished something and although there wasn't much to see along the way it was a wonderful metiphore for trusting all would be okay.

Meg had set up a nice little spot for herself and was continuing to practice putting her feet up.

I picked some mint for everyone from the hillside and passed it out. The dad of the children asked if I could take a picture of the family. They were really cute.

Later we saw the dolphins again and Maaike and I went out again. We never saw them and they were a bit farther out than we wanted to go. We decided to trust they would come, but we weren't willing to wait too long or go too far out again.

Then we were getting hungry and Meg suggested the Coffee Shack! Horray for the Coffee Shack. We had lunch for the first time and it was really good.

Then I took a nap and while sleeping Jason called. I went down to Kona to meet up with him and bum around a bit. He was asking me something at one point and then said...was there some point in your life when trust was a big issue. Well yah! I'm aware of it, thanks... It was a nice visit and then we went back to my place to pick up Meg for food related stuff. She had been researching real estate properties so we'll be going to look at stuff for her and me very soon.